Pork Fried...Cauliflower "Rice"

By Gigirox

Ingredients

• Ingredients:
• 1 head fresh cauliflower, stems removed, pulsed to rice texture in the food processor
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons + 2 tablespoons coconut aminos
• 1 teaspoon + 1 teaspoon + 1 tablespoon coconut oil
• 1/4 white or yellow onion, diced
• 1 cup steamed broccoli florets, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 8 oz. leftover cooked pork (like  BBQ pulled pork or pork carnitas), cut into 1/2-inch cubes
• 2-3 scallions, green only
• salt & pepper, to taste
• sesame oil, to taste (optional)
• 2 teaspoons sesame seeds for garnish (optional)

Preparation

Step 1

1. Put the grated cauliflower in a microwave-safe container and nuke for two minutes. This step preps the cauliflower so it’s almost-tender before the stir-frying process. If you skip this step, you run the risk of the cauliflower turning to mush. You don’t want Chinese Pork Fried Mush. (At least I don’t think you do.)
2. If you’re using the sesame seeds, heat a large sauté pan or wok over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot, toss in the sesame seeds and stir constantly ’til they’re lightly toasted, about 3-5 minutes. Keep an eye on them! They can quickly change from pale white to dark brown in a blink! When you’re happy with the toastiness, remove from the pan and save for step 6.
3. In a small bowl, scramble the eggs with 1 teaspoon coconut aminos. Heat 1 teaspoon coconut oil over medium-high heat in the pan, then add the eggs and scramble until cooked through. Remove them from the pan and save for step 5.
4. In the same pan, heat 1 teaspoon coconut oil over medium heat, then sauté the diced onion until it’s tender and translucent, about 5 minutes. Things are going to start happening a little faster now. Alert your dining companions that you’re about to “drop the f’rice.” (That’s what I bellow from the kitchen at my house to alert Dave and Smudge that dinner is imminent!)
5. Add 1 tablespoon coconut oil to the pan and increase heat to high for about 90 seconds. When the pan is good and hot, add the cubed pork, chopped broccoli, cauliflower, and scrambled egg. Stir with purpose! Then sprinkle with 2 tablespoons coconut aminos. Continue to stir with purpose until it’s heated through, and you’re getting some lovely brown bits. This takes about 3 minutes or so.
6. Divide the fried f’rice onto two plates, then sprinkle with the chopped scallions and, if you’re into this kind of thing, about 1 teaspoon of sesame oil and 1 teaspoon of the toasted sesame seeds. Dig in with the sure knowledge that you are consuming at least two servings of vegetables, plenty of protein, and zero mystery ingredients. Takeout, shmakeout!