This week on The Back Burner we’re discussing Back To School. But what does that mean and why would it change my life in any culinary way? I couldn’t think of a single reason. You see I don’t have kids, so it’s not really fair of me to assume a single thing about parenthood. Let alone pass along culinary advice on just how to deal with this event known as Back to School.
So I decided to do some research. Just enough to show me that the presence of a genetically related minor in the home probably means that your summer was pretty much a bust. You probably didn’t get to spend that long romantic weekend at home not leaving the bedroom. Those weekly massages or facials you promised yourself may have never gotten scheduled. Oh, and all that extra money you squirreled away for something special probably bought ice cream cones and trampoline lessons.
Granted the only reason I know any of this is because of that research I mentioned. I mean before today I didn’t think anyone had to teach you how to jump up and down on a trampoline, and I had no idea the going rate was $40.00 an hour. That’s the summer rate of course. Well I have to admit my research into how the other half lives was not really going anywhere until I came across a link to an article called 55 Things to do with Your Kids This Summer. 55 things? Do kids even want to do 55 things with their parents? Have kids changed that much? My parents had a list of summer activities for me when I was growing up. But there was only one thing on that list. Open The Front Door and Go Outside and Play.
Well just thinking about all that parents have to do these days nearly sent me over the edge. So I immediately scheduled a facial with all that spare cash we had laying around from the fact that we didn’t get out of bed all weekend.
Suddenly those Staples commercials made sense to me! The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Ho Ho Ho. They’re talking about Back to School! A time when the kids will no longer be around… I get it now.
While I can’t help you with that $40.00 an hour you spent on trampoline lessons, I do see what my job is here this week. It’s so simple too. You need a cocktail– a cocktail I’ll call a Pencil Eraser. It’s the perfect Back to School remedy, because if you make it just right the entire summer will erase itself from your mind. GREG